Swine flu. Run for my life!
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
