Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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