nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
So many bounce houses so little time
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Randomize
