maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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