she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Randomize
