woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
