Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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