you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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