pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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