So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Randomize
