he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
