so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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