he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
