You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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