So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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