i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
