Man, jail baloney is awful.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
