Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
