just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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