Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
