I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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