Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize