im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
that may or may not have been my penis.
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