Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
