I just saw a hot homeless man
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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