Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
