What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
