I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
