when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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