I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
