Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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