I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
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