Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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