I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i think i scared a bird with my dick
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
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