Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
