I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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