I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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