3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
