went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
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I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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