You're so nebulous sometimes
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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