i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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