Need sex. Gaining weight.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
