Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
