Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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