I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
