WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
