theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
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Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
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