Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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