And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
