the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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