This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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