Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
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