he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
