im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
handjob tips. give me some.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
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He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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