You can't special order awesome
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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