I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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