I'm going to jail i love you
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
