why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Randomize
