Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Bring me that man meat
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
