how can u be prego again
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I just found a bag of teeth...
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
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