Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
