how can u be prego again
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
