Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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