i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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