Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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