Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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