I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
